Free Falling

I consider myself a thrill seeker. Not the kind of "immature" thrill from standing on top of moving vehicles while off-roading and shooting a paint ball gun all at the same time. Well actually... just kidding dad. But I have been known to seek the adrenaline of coming close to danger. I'll gladly jump on a sled being pulled by a four-wheeler in the snow or ride any amusement ride built on earth. I've even free fallen into the Royal Gorge.

Yes, this oversized "swing" pulls you back to a horizontal height one eerie crank at a time only to release you into a near death encounter. Life flashed before my eyes while I was hopelessly falling into the 1,200 foot gorge. I lost speaking capability for at least 18 minutes. A neurological overload of adrenaline and thrill caused my major body systems to temporarily shut down. But when the shock subsided, the only thing I wanted was to do it again. What makes these adventures so exciting?

Uncertainty is the root of the thrill. Without uncertainty, there wouldn't be a dare. I live for those eternity lasting milliseconds when you are not sure if safety waits on the other side. It adds excitement to life. It spices up the mundane, repetition of my planned out days, weeks, and months. I believe everyone seeks their own thrills in their own personal ways. Maybe it isn't necessarily strapping yourself to a cord and free falling into the Royal Gorge; it could be simply speaking to a stranger. The times we tend to grow most significantly are often when we are outside of our comfort zones. Unfortunately, when I'm ventured out of my comfort zone doubt usually finds it's way in as well. This brings me to the faith-doubt dilemma that I constantly struggle with.

I've lived on the edge in the most surprising way this past year: In my walk with the Lord. I've been infused with spiritual adrenaline everyday because I've chosen to journey into the uncertain. I gave up my own plans for my life and fully embraced the calling God has patiently been growing me into. I can't say that my path has been incredibly easy. I can't tell you that God has used a spotlight to light my entire trail. Often times I'm lead with simply a light to my feet, but that does not mean I stop moving. I might not be able to see all the surroundings and sometimes I might be overwhelmed with uncertainty, but I take the step forward anyways. With every step I take, sometimes I have doubt in where I'm going, but I hold onto the faith I have in the One lighting my steps. I'm engulfed with this new walk with the Lord. It's similar to walking on water. You might have uncertainty of what the first step will bring, but with faith all things are possible. What could be more captivating? What could be more exciting? I want my walk with the Lord to be on water. Every step is met with overwhelming adrenaline because I'm not drowning when I should be. I've learned that I do not have to know everything. I'm perfectly comfortable in taking a step without knowing every little detail; because I know the One directing each step knows. Maybe it's better for me to not know sometimes. It's the uncertainty of each step that gives me the thrill to keep going. Are you willing to take the step? Are you willing to free fall into the unknown with the hope of changing the world?