Dear Teenagers

Dear Teenagers,

Considering that I’m seven months removed from my teenage years, I have complete knowledge about how to be a successful teen. Ok, maybe not. But I can give you my simple minded advice. I’m weeks away from becoming a “leader” at the youth facility that I attended during my teenage years. The youth group that molded me into who I am. The youth group that saw me mature and helped disciple me when I made mistakes. I’ve been through it and I can promise you that you will survive these hormone raging years. Looking back, I wish I could have absorbed more advice from someone in my current position. I wish I would have been less independent and more open. I would definitely take the time to read and process anyone’s “tips” to teenagers. Anyhow, here goes.

Love might be dangerous, but it’s worth it. Also understand that there is more to “love” than an infatuation. It isn’t about who the prettiest girl in your class is or who the best athlete at school is. To truly love someone, it’s a selfless act. Not what you receive, but what you can give. In a couple of years, popularity won’t be defined by how many people you’ve made out with. It will become about who is themselves and who is true. Then you might want some of those kisses back to share with someone who is sincere. You’re learning, have fun! Just remember that there is more to love than the butterflies and sweaty fingers.

School might be boring, but it’s invaluable. I remember some days in high school being “meaningless”. Although proving geometric proofs and balancing chemical equations might seem useless to you now, I promise you that one day you will actually have to use them again. So why not own your education now? Why just live for the grades that will get you into college one day? I’ve taken the advice from my elders, now take it from me: An education is the one thing that no one can take away from you. Therefore, don’t let it go to waste. In college, you don’t have tons of homework and you don’t have to wake up early. But the desire to learn in necessary. Start on it now.

They might seem uncool, but they are really just as interesting as you! You know what I’m talking about. The kids who might be “weird” or “different” that you walk past every day. You look down and hope that they don’t speak to you. If you’re avoiding them then you’re ignorantly expressing that you think you’re “cooler” than they are, therefore if people see you speaking to them than you are less cool. I’ll let you in on a little secret; I bet $100 bucks that you could be the most popular person at school if you took time to talk to them. Your refusal to be associated with them only publicly displays your insecurities. Be confident in who you are and know that you’re the same person regardless of who you talk to or eat lunch with. Besides, you’re going to end up marrying a nerd anyways… Or end up working for one.

Forgiveness is hard, but it actually benefits you more than the offender. It’s been said that forgiving someone is releasing them from their bondage, than realizing that the prisoner is you. For me, I deeply struggled with forgiveness. I finally realized that when I refuse to forgive someone, I make myself miserable while they get to be happy. A person doesn’t need your forgiveness to continue with their life. Forgiveness shouldn’t be earned or lost. Trust is dependent on a person’s actions, but not forgiveness. Believe me, forgiving someone is the most freeing thing you can possibly do. Holding grudges is one of the most self destructive things a young person can do to themselves. Have you noticed yet that getting revenge always leaves you longing for a little more? You always end up wanting more revenge. Realize that it is obviously not satisfying you. Forgiveness can though. Just give it a try and see what I’m saying.

Don’t spread rumors, or you can be certain rumors are being spread about you. The people who actually want to listen to the rumors you are spreading more than likely won’t mind talking about you. A true friend stands up for what is right and noble. So what makes you think that a weak friend won’t talk about you when you’re not there? Your tongue is a powerful weapon that can do a great deal of damage to people. Trust is compromised when you spread rumors. As I’ve matured, I can say that trustworthiness is my most desirable trait in a girl. See the correlation? No, don’t avoid spreading rumors because an incredibly handsome man might like you… But avoid spreading rumors because it’s ultimately affecting other’s opinions of you. Trust me, trust is the most difficult thing to earn back.

Never take a breath for granted. Some of you might have already experienced the death of a good friend. You are not invincible and never will be. You might be so young, but tomorrow is never a guarantee. This isn't meant to scare you or be cynical, rather a reminder to live life to the fullest. Tell everyone you see that you love them. Because you truly never know when you or they might be gone and the chance to express your feelings will forever be lost. Your five word encouraging sentence could help change someones life. Just because you're young does not mean you must wait until your 30 to start expressing your feelings. Let your appreciation be known. Never give up on life. God placed you here for a purpose and your purpose started the minute you were born. Not when you grow up. Find that purpose.

I could go on. Want more advice? Let’s go to Starbucks and we’ll talk. Unfortunately, I must end because you’re tired of reading and I have homework to do. By the way, summer school < poo. The best advice out of everything: Reading Stephen’s blog will exponentially increase your wisdom and coolness for every minute you spend reading. Think about it.

Always here for you,

Stephen Cliff