“When it comes to the future, there are three kinds of people: those who let it happen, those who make it happen, and those who wonder what happened.”
-John M. Richardson, Jr.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Bleeding Orange
I suppose that the nature of this blog when I created it was to take you on the medical school journey with me. Sharing my perspective of the life of a pre-health student and hopefully as a medical student as well. I tend to get away from this topic very often as you know, but today I would like to take you a little farther in my adventure. For the most part, my opinions about a particular medical school are formulated around what their website advertises, how they treat me in my emails, and of course by ear. Today I will take a step forward in gaining a better perspective of one school by visiting the University of Oklahoma Health Sciences for their medical school "Open House" event. I've received tons of grief from my friends here in Stillwater for considering going to that "one place next to Oklahoma City", so I really don't need to hear more from you. Hah. I've decided against wearing my Ok. State shirt in case I happen to meet an admittance committee member... The little things matter when applying to medical school, ya know! I'll be taking a tour of their campus, hearing presentations from some of the professors, as well as having a Q&A session with current medical students. I've been conspiring to come up with a couple questions to stump them, any suggestions will be accepted. This has been the most stressful semester of my college career so I'm not positive when I'll find the time to update on how my experience went, but I'm going to try to soon. It's time to go make my future. Off to the evil empire!
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Long Time, No See
I cannot believe that I have not blogged in over a month. This is something that I truly love doing. Even if it isn't the best, most creative writing in the world; writing helps me organize my thoughts and emotions. It's an avenue to relieve stress for my hyperactive wired scheduled life. And really, I have so much to say to the world. It's almost one in the morning and I find myself fighting off weariness (maybe from two weeks of less than 6 hours of sleep a night) to log on to my blog to express myself. This will not be the wittiest or most interesting post I've ever written. Although, this post is something that I've needed for a long time. This post is what I've been dreading, but also looking forward to. Because with my public claim comes responsibility. A responsibility that I think I've put off too long.
I've had a rough month. Rough academically. Rough mentally. I've discovered the beast of medical education. The enormity of the stress and deadlines. After a discouraging presentation from a doctor on the University of Oklahoma's medical school admissions board, I was mentally left with a reoccurring question that has robbed me of my sanity the last several weeks, "Do I really know what I'm getting into"? Am I really smart enough for this? Growing up our parents and teachers tell us that we can become whatever we want to be. Thus our childhood dreams are constructed to be the first woman president of the United States. Or to be a fighter pilot. Or to play professional baseball. They never trained us for the harsh reality that at some point in walking out our dream we will have to face our biggest fears. They never prepared us for the crossroads in our lives when a grown man would stare you in the eyes and tell you, "You're probably not smart enough be a doctor". It's a tough thing to deal with. And the mental anguish has had repercussions in other areas in my life.
I've avoided trying my best in my classes. I've let my discouragement get the best of me. I've looked for any and every opportunity to avoid making my ultimate decision if I want to continue down this path. I've coward away from the ultimatum because essentially, I am scared. It's scary to step out not knowing if you're guaranteed safety. It's terrifying to make this big of a commitment in the face of doubt. Some days I wish that I could just wake up and be a doctor without the many years of hard work and commitment. Unfortunately, life never works that way.
Ironically, I learned the most this week from one of the things that I've used to distract me from making my decision. I've started watching (mildly obsessing over) the television show "[Scrubs]". I subscribed to Netflix so that I could have access to every episode of [Scrubs] in all the seasons sent to my house. Yes, it is a little loony. I could sit and watch 7-8 episodes a day dispite the need to be studying. I've used it as a distraction from school and I've known it all along. I know that it seems silly that I'm talking about having a favorite TV show, but a certain episode has helped me more than I could express. I am going to work hard. I am going to get serious. Even if I face rejection down the road for my educational inadequacies, I will know confidently that I tried my best. Always remember, "Nothing worth having comes easy".
**Warning: One use of foul language at the 16 second mark**
I've had a rough month. Rough academically. Rough mentally. I've discovered the beast of medical education. The enormity of the stress and deadlines. After a discouraging presentation from a doctor on the University of Oklahoma's medical school admissions board, I was mentally left with a reoccurring question that has robbed me of my sanity the last several weeks, "Do I really know what I'm getting into"? Am I really smart enough for this? Growing up our parents and teachers tell us that we can become whatever we want to be. Thus our childhood dreams are constructed to be the first woman president of the United States. Or to be a fighter pilot. Or to play professional baseball. They never trained us for the harsh reality that at some point in walking out our dream we will have to face our biggest fears. They never prepared us for the crossroads in our lives when a grown man would stare you in the eyes and tell you, "You're probably not smart enough be a doctor". It's a tough thing to deal with. And the mental anguish has had repercussions in other areas in my life.
I've avoided trying my best in my classes. I've let my discouragement get the best of me. I've looked for any and every opportunity to avoid making my ultimate decision if I want to continue down this path. I've coward away from the ultimatum because essentially, I am scared. It's scary to step out not knowing if you're guaranteed safety. It's terrifying to make this big of a commitment in the face of doubt. Some days I wish that I could just wake up and be a doctor without the many years of hard work and commitment. Unfortunately, life never works that way.
Ironically, I learned the most this week from one of the things that I've used to distract me from making my decision. I've started watching (mildly obsessing over) the television show "[Scrubs]". I subscribed to Netflix so that I could have access to every episode of [Scrubs] in all the seasons sent to my house. Yes, it is a little loony. I could sit and watch 7-8 episodes a day dispite the need to be studying. I've used it as a distraction from school and I've known it all along. I know that it seems silly that I'm talking about having a favorite TV show, but a certain episode has helped me more than I could express. I am going to work hard. I am going to get serious. Even if I face rejection down the road for my educational inadequacies, I will know confidently that I tried my best. Always remember, "Nothing worth having comes easy".
**Warning: One use of foul language at the 16 second mark**
Sunday, August 22, 2010
True Feelings: The Vents of an Inexperienced Missionary (#7)
8/9/10
What an interesting day. This journal entry is coming from my iPhone notes while I'm sitting in the airport waiting for my flight at 1:30am. This is the beautiful side of mission work, right? Our flight was supposed to be leaving at 1:20, but we were informed when we got here that it would be delayed 2 hours. But... While we were sitting in the airport lobby with a friend just sharing stories, an employee told us the flight was on time and was boarding. This was at 1:15. So we stressfully sprinted through security. We were met by tired, thorough employees who searched every crumb on the bottom of my carry on bag, despite our need to get to our gate ASAP. I swear mental stress is more tiring than physical stress. We finally make it through the sluggish security and start our run towards our gate only to be met by the news that our flight was in fact delayed. Got to love the things lost in translation I suppose.
Today was our shopping day. We got to go downtown and shop for souvenirs and sight see parts of the city we didn't have time for this past week. Unfortunately, the last 2 days I've had a severe-to-deathly sore throat. It still hurts as I type. fortunately, there are advantages of getting sick on medical mission trips. I'm already on antibiotics, for no cost. Praise the Lord. It was tough saying bye to the team. I've REALLY enjoyed their company this past week. We really meshed well and have grown close.
What kind of people go on mission trips over four thousand miles away from home? Amazing, passionate, genuine, fire-filled Christians. I've had the best conversations with these people. You don't find many flaky Christians sleeping in sleeping bags, working long days for no tangible benefit in the Third world. They've all inspired me so much. I kept a tab in my notes on my phone that I just kept quotes from them when they would say something I could learn from. Considering I'm the youngest member of our team, they all have so much experience for me to learn from. Take this for example, I've been thinking about it lately: "How you treat the creation reflects how you feel about the creator". There is such wisdom in that. I've collected several little quotes like this in my phone. They didn't even know I was listening. These are the little things I've enjoyed so much on this trip. I think I've been blessed more than I could have blessed anyone else. Now, I'm going to lie down on this bench and get a quick nap in before my flight.
I sure am going to miss this place.
P.S. It's now 2:00 and I'm still waiting
P.S.S it's now 2:30 and I'm still waiting
3:03. Still waiting.
3:35 Take off
3:36 Just kidding. Drunk guys on plane just got us taxied back to terminal.
4:06 Take off again.
What an interesting day. This journal entry is coming from my iPhone notes while I'm sitting in the airport waiting for my flight at 1:30am. This is the beautiful side of mission work, right? Our flight was supposed to be leaving at 1:20, but we were informed when we got here that it would be delayed 2 hours. But... While we were sitting in the airport lobby with a friend just sharing stories, an employee told us the flight was on time and was boarding. This was at 1:15. So we stressfully sprinted through security. We were met by tired, thorough employees who searched every crumb on the bottom of my carry on bag, despite our need to get to our gate ASAP. I swear mental stress is more tiring than physical stress. We finally make it through the sluggish security and start our run towards our gate only to be met by the news that our flight was in fact delayed. Got to love the things lost in translation I suppose.
Today was our shopping day. We got to go downtown and shop for souvenirs and sight see parts of the city we didn't have time for this past week. Unfortunately, the last 2 days I've had a severe-to-deathly sore throat. It still hurts as I type. fortunately, there are advantages of getting sick on medical mission trips. I'm already on antibiotics, for no cost. Praise the Lord. It was tough saying bye to the team. I've REALLY enjoyed their company this past week. We really meshed well and have grown close.
What kind of people go on mission trips over four thousand miles away from home? Amazing, passionate, genuine, fire-filled Christians. I've had the best conversations with these people. You don't find many flaky Christians sleeping in sleeping bags, working long days for no tangible benefit in the Third world. They've all inspired me so much. I kept a tab in my notes on my phone that I just kept quotes from them when they would say something I could learn from. Considering I'm the youngest member of our team, they all have so much experience for me to learn from. Take this for example, I've been thinking about it lately: "How you treat the creation reflects how you feel about the creator". There is such wisdom in that. I've collected several little quotes like this in my phone. They didn't even know I was listening. These are the little things I've enjoyed so much on this trip. I think I've been blessed more than I could have blessed anyone else. Now, I'm going to lie down on this bench and get a quick nap in before my flight.
I sure am going to miss this place.
P.S. It's now 2:00 and I'm still waiting
P.S.S it's now 2:30 and I'm still waiting
3:03. Still waiting.
3:35 Take off
3:36 Just kidding. Drunk guys on plane just got us taxied back to terminal.
4:06 Take off again.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
True Feelings: Vents of an Inexperienced Missionary (#6)
8/6/10
What an incredible, fun day. It was independence day here in Bolivia. We went to a huge parade downtown. There was just a great spirit among the people. Bolivian flags flew proudly all over the city. I actually got on Google today and noticed they redesigned their front page with Bolivian flag colors. It made me feel really proud to be here. There was a lot of drama in the La Paz, the capitol, last night with people quarantined in the palace. I'm not sure what exactly happened but it had something to do with drugs. Whatever exactly happened, it prevented President Morales from attending the Santa Cruz parade. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise. Morales doesn't have much respect for the people in Santa Cruz. The feelings are mutual. Morales is a socialist, borderline communist. The Bolivian constitution states that a president can only serve two, four year terms in office. Morales just recently changed the constitution and is currently serving in his third term. As far as his background, he has no formal education whatsoever. He gained his power through the coca growing industry. Yes, coca leaves is the base for cocaine production. In fact, Morales is STILL the president of the coca growing association as well as president of the country. Like most socialist/communist reigns, Morales has the support of the poorer class, which of course is the majority of the population. Be in prayer for the politics of Bolivia.
When pro-Morales supporters marched in the parade , members of the crowd booed and threw trash at them. The moments got a little tense with hundreds of militants holding guns and tear gas containers. The primitive, angry resentment was exciting to me (a sheltered American city boy). After the parade, we went to a local pastors house who also owns a very successful business. His house would have been an upper class home in any city in America. It was refreshing to get to relax. He just let us hang out and he also cook out on his grill for us. It was an amazing time to just chill and talk to our team members. Our team is full of incredible people. I am taking by all of their stories. I've gained so much wisdom from them this past week. I'm really going to miss them. I feel like they've almost become family. We've all had to depend on each other. I feel very bittersweet about my return "home". I know Tulsa will always be my physical home, but I've never felt more at home than now. I am excited to see my friends and family, but I really do love it here. I love the people. I love our team. This trip has done more for me than I could ever have done for the people we're here to serve. Most importantly, I am in love with Jesus. Your walk with Him is so close when you have nothing else. See you all in a couple of days.
Love,
Stephen
What an incredible, fun day. It was independence day here in Bolivia. We went to a huge parade downtown. There was just a great spirit among the people. Bolivian flags flew proudly all over the city. I actually got on Google today and noticed they redesigned their front page with Bolivian flag colors. It made me feel really proud to be here. There was a lot of drama in the La Paz, the capitol, last night with people quarantined in the palace. I'm not sure what exactly happened but it had something to do with drugs. Whatever exactly happened, it prevented President Morales from attending the Santa Cruz parade. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise. Morales doesn't have much respect for the people in Santa Cruz. The feelings are mutual. Morales is a socialist, borderline communist. The Bolivian constitution states that a president can only serve two, four year terms in office. Morales just recently changed the constitution and is currently serving in his third term. As far as his background, he has no formal education whatsoever. He gained his power through the coca growing industry. Yes, coca leaves is the base for cocaine production. In fact, Morales is STILL the president of the coca growing association as well as president of the country. Like most socialist/communist reigns, Morales has the support of the poorer class, which of course is the majority of the population. Be in prayer for the politics of Bolivia.
When pro-Morales supporters marched in the parade , members of the crowd booed and threw trash at them. The moments got a little tense with hundreds of militants holding guns and tear gas containers. The primitive, angry resentment was exciting to me (a sheltered American city boy). After the parade, we went to a local pastors house who also owns a very successful business. His house would have been an upper class home in any city in America. It was refreshing to get to relax. He just let us hang out and he also cook out on his grill for us. It was an amazing time to just chill and talk to our team members. Our team is full of incredible people. I am taking by all of their stories. I've gained so much wisdom from them this past week. I'm really going to miss them. I feel like they've almost become family. We've all had to depend on each other. I feel very bittersweet about my return "home". I know Tulsa will always be my physical home, but I've never felt more at home than now. I am excited to see my friends and family, but I really do love it here. I love the people. I love our team. This trip has done more for me than I could ever have done for the people we're here to serve. Most importantly, I am in love with Jesus. Your walk with Him is so close when you have nothing else. See you all in a couple of days.
Love,
Stephen
Sunday, August 15, 2010
True Feelings: The Vents of an Inexperienced Missionary (#5)
8/5/10
What an exciting day. We did a traveling clinic to an old people’s home. It was about an hour long drive out there, but it was totally worth it. This is one the most unique ministries I've ever come across. Their unofficial motto is: "Preparing people for heaven". This facility has a clinic, garden, outdoor bread oven, a full kitchen, and even a sugar cane press. They don't have any housing yet, but are in the process of building a very nice one. We got to eat fresh tangerines, lemons, and even fresh cane juice. There are probably about 120 people who travel in from surrounding villages to be at this ministry. From the minute we arrived we couldn't get away from the people. They were that nice and inviting. They all called me, "Dr. Stephen", which deepens my desire for my future. I was also met with sloppy wet kisses from all the teethless old women. It was wonderful... The retired people actually come to work every day here. They pick fruit, tend to the gardens, and make sugar cane juice. Their background in farming and very hard work ethics makes this place very special to them. It gives them meaning again. It makes them feel valued and useful.
As far as the clinic went today, we got to see goiters, numerous high blood pressures, arthritis, and even another case of Chagas disease. These people were truly grateful for what they received today. One man broke down in tears during our clinic. He told us that he often feels, "overwhelmed". It almost made me tear up. It was a very trip defining moment and one that I will not easily forget. What we are doing has a great purpose. We are impacting hundreds of lives. Our clinics are officially over. We've seen over 300 patients this week and had 80-90 people come to know the Lord this week. It has been an incredible time. The next two days we will be relaxing and recuperating from a hard week's work.
Tomorrow marks Bolivia's 188th Independence Day. We will be celebrating at the Santa Cruz parade. As I write, I hear many fireworks all around. I first thought they were gun fire (these initial inclinations are common and understandable in 3rd world countries). Hah! President Morales will be at the parade. This will mark the first time Morales will be in Santa Cruz in two years. Two years ago Santa Cruz almost led a rebellion to overthrow the oppressive government that Morales runs. There was massive amounts of tension that caused all the airports across the countries shutting down, which prevented a Bridge Builders team from entering the country then. Even now, there is tension building with the arrival of Morales in Santa Cruz. All it takes is one crack head to take a shot at Morales at the parade and we probably won't be able to leave the country for another week. That probably wouldn't bother me honestly. I love what we're doing here. The next two days we'll be relaxing and sightseeing. I'm looking forward to it. I miss all of you like crazy. God is so good.
Love,
Stephen
What an exciting day. We did a traveling clinic to an old people’s home. It was about an hour long drive out there, but it was totally worth it. This is one the most unique ministries I've ever come across. Their unofficial motto is: "Preparing people for heaven". This facility has a clinic, garden, outdoor bread oven, a full kitchen, and even a sugar cane press. They don't have any housing yet, but are in the process of building a very nice one. We got to eat fresh tangerines, lemons, and even fresh cane juice. There are probably about 120 people who travel in from surrounding villages to be at this ministry. From the minute we arrived we couldn't get away from the people. They were that nice and inviting. They all called me, "Dr. Stephen", which deepens my desire for my future. I was also met with sloppy wet kisses from all the teethless old women. It was wonderful... The retired people actually come to work every day here. They pick fruit, tend to the gardens, and make sugar cane juice. Their background in farming and very hard work ethics makes this place very special to them. It gives them meaning again. It makes them feel valued and useful.
As far as the clinic went today, we got to see goiters, numerous high blood pressures, arthritis, and even another case of Chagas disease. These people were truly grateful for what they received today. One man broke down in tears during our clinic. He told us that he often feels, "overwhelmed". It almost made me tear up. It was a very trip defining moment and one that I will not easily forget. What we are doing has a great purpose. We are impacting hundreds of lives. Our clinics are officially over. We've seen over 300 patients this week and had 80-90 people come to know the Lord this week. It has been an incredible time. The next two days we will be relaxing and recuperating from a hard week's work.
Tomorrow marks Bolivia's 188th Independence Day. We will be celebrating at the Santa Cruz parade. As I write, I hear many fireworks all around. I first thought they were gun fire (these initial inclinations are common and understandable in 3rd world countries). Hah! President Morales will be at the parade. This will mark the first time Morales will be in Santa Cruz in two years. Two years ago Santa Cruz almost led a rebellion to overthrow the oppressive government that Morales runs. There was massive amounts of tension that caused all the airports across the countries shutting down, which prevented a Bridge Builders team from entering the country then. Even now, there is tension building with the arrival of Morales in Santa Cruz. All it takes is one crack head to take a shot at Morales at the parade and we probably won't be able to leave the country for another week. That probably wouldn't bother me honestly. I love what we're doing here. The next two days we'll be relaxing and sightseeing. I'm looking forward to it. I miss all of you like crazy. God is so good.
Love,
Stephen
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)