Showing posts with label Medical. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Medical. Show all posts
Monday, November 15, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Living in the Margins
I've finally learned one of life's most valuable lessons this week. Do you wanna hear? This idea has been thrown my way numerous times throughout my life time, but I never grasped it fully. If you've ever been a part of an athletic team, band, or any type of group project I can almost guarantee that you've let the words pass through your ears without realizing the potential stored in the advice. Maybe it will take a firsthand encounter, as it did for me, for my message to deeply resonate with you. Regardless, I still need to share. So here goes: The separation of mediocrity and excellence is found in the margins of life.
I learned this from the least conspicuous person in my life, Dr. Rockley, my inorganic chemistry professor. Let me preface this post a little bit before I send this man great praise. Simply put: he is evil. Evil, Evil, Evil. You've heard me talk about the difficulty of my previous chemistry professor last semester, trust me he was difficult, but he pales in comparison. I remember my last professor, Dr. Raff, saying that there was only one professor in Oklahoma State's Chemistry department that was more difficult than he was. . . I'll let you take one wild guess who I got for Inorganic two. The class average on our first exam: 24%. His feet barely touched the ground as he cheerfully skipped into lecture the following day. He proceeded to work out a 24 minute long equation covering three chalk boards to prove to us that statistically if we all closed our eyes and randomly guessed on the exam our class average should have been in a range of 25-27 %. In other words, as a class we would have been more successful if we had all guessed without looking at one problem and turned it in. After the cricket in the ceiling broke the threatening silence of the lecture hall, my neighbor stood up in frustration, blurted out a few obscenities, and stomped out of the classroom never to be seen again. Dr. Rockley's response: A crooked smirk accompanied by a humorously delayed, "loser".
The class average on exam two: 33%. Don't let this persuade you the exam was easier that its predecessor. No. This is simply a correlation to all the people who dropped the course after the first exam. The chemical engineering majors are bloating our average up into the all time highs in a Dr. Rockley chemistry course. And no, I'm really not joking to make this a better story. Thankfully, I've scored much higher than the class averages on both exam one and exam two, but I still am not attaining my goal of an 'A' letter grade. It's one of the first times in my life that I've been faced with such a mental antagonizing situation. Keep in mind this is a five hour course. In other words, it weighs substantially on my GPA. If I want a realistic shot at getting accepted into medical school than it's vital I don't mess up this course. And Dr. Rockley is in the opposing corner seemingly throwing upper-hooks at my dream. My enemy, my nemeses. A 5'4", 67 year old, New Zealander is making me question the realism in my intelligence. All semester I've hated his guts. Not because he's a bad professor, he's actually done a phenomenal job at making chemistry relevant to the medical field. Not because he isn't helpful, his office is located in an unused class room so he can effectively help students after hour teaching hours. Not because of his sadistic sense of humor or really even his level of toughness; it all boils down to the fact that I want to be a doctor and Dr. Rockley is doing all he can to prevent my dream from coming to fruition.
Before you jump the gun and inform me that no professor purposefully tries to fail his students, let me tell you about our lecture before the third exam that I took last night. With a numb brain from 16 consecutive hours studying chemistry, I stumbled into my seat in the chemistry lecture hall. The chemical equilibriums in my body spazing from the overdose of energy supplements and under dose of sleep could not keep me from missing chemistry lecture in fear of falling into the deepest hole ever dug at a university. The lecture that awaited us was not expected. I expected to learn how to solve complex acid/base equilibrium problems under dynamic pressure systems. Maybe add in a little advanced chemical thermodynamics to spice it up a bit. Unfortunately, I didn't get to learn any chemistry that day (no sarcasm implied). What I got was one of my life's greatest epiphanies. Like usual, Dr. Rockley walked into lecture five minutes late and found his way to the podium where he started a very unusual lecture. Neither chalk nor 60 pound textbook was needed to convey his simple, yet meaningful plea to my comrades and I. (Yes, military vernacular is needed, we are at war with this man, remember?) More seriously, he began to explain the simple message that excellence is found in the margins of life. He told us the gap between an average doctor and an exceptional doctor is being aware of the small things. An average doctor might not pay attention to the hidden clue that would save a person's life, while an exceptional doctor living in the margins would pick up on the subtle clues. An average doctor might put in mediocre effort and sometimes find a great result, while an exceptional doctor always puts in great effort and sometimes receives mediocre results. People are typically defined by the end results of their lives, but their lives are made up of these marginal decisions they make every single day. He went on to tell us he goes through his exams and looks deeply into each problem and tries to find where we could possibly make a mistake. In chemistry, a simple charge being different can ultimately change the entire outcome of a problem by three orders of magnitude. He purposefully makes his tests tricky because, "The only people to pass [his] class will be the exceptional people who pay attention to the little details". He refuses to pass a student who he personally would not feel confident in allowing them to be his own doctor in a life threatening situation. I know my parents and friends see him as being unrealistically harsh, but really think about what he's saying. It might be the first time I've thought it all semester, but he's exactly right. I don't even want to be a doctor if I feel incapable of taking care of someone. I want to try my hardest now so that my patients can have confidence in my abilities. Great people are made in the marginal decisions in everyday life. We are called to pay attention to the little things. In the end, it defines what you will become. Dr. Rockley might give me a grade that will hurt my GPA, but he's the only professor in three years of being in Stillwater that will leave a permanent mark on my life. I want to be the best I possibly can be. And that requires living in the margins. Thank you Dr. Rockley. I'll leave you with this to capstone my message.
"Only those who have the patience to do simple things perfectly will acquire the skill to do difficult things easily." -Johann Schiller
P.S. I got an A on exam three. Miracles do and can happen while livin' in the margins.
I learned this from the least conspicuous person in my life, Dr. Rockley, my inorganic chemistry professor. Let me preface this post a little bit before I send this man great praise. Simply put: he is evil. Evil, Evil, Evil. You've heard me talk about the difficulty of my previous chemistry professor last semester, trust me he was difficult, but he pales in comparison. I remember my last professor, Dr. Raff, saying that there was only one professor in Oklahoma State's Chemistry department that was more difficult than he was. . . I'll let you take one wild guess who I got for Inorganic two. The class average on our first exam: 24%. His feet barely touched the ground as he cheerfully skipped into lecture the following day. He proceeded to work out a 24 minute long equation covering three chalk boards to prove to us that statistically if we all closed our eyes and randomly guessed on the exam our class average should have been in a range of 25-27 %. In other words, as a class we would have been more successful if we had all guessed without looking at one problem and turned it in. After the cricket in the ceiling broke the threatening silence of the lecture hall, my neighbor stood up in frustration, blurted out a few obscenities, and stomped out of the classroom never to be seen again. Dr. Rockley's response: A crooked smirk accompanied by a humorously delayed, "loser".
The class average on exam two: 33%. Don't let this persuade you the exam was easier that its predecessor. No. This is simply a correlation to all the people who dropped the course after the first exam. The chemical engineering majors are bloating our average up into the all time highs in a Dr. Rockley chemistry course. And no, I'm really not joking to make this a better story. Thankfully, I've scored much higher than the class averages on both exam one and exam two, but I still am not attaining my goal of an 'A' letter grade. It's one of the first times in my life that I've been faced with such a mental antagonizing situation. Keep in mind this is a five hour course. In other words, it weighs substantially on my GPA. If I want a realistic shot at getting accepted into medical school than it's vital I don't mess up this course. And Dr. Rockley is in the opposing corner seemingly throwing upper-hooks at my dream. My enemy, my nemeses. A 5'4", 67 year old, New Zealander is making me question the realism in my intelligence. All semester I've hated his guts. Not because he's a bad professor, he's actually done a phenomenal job at making chemistry relevant to the medical field. Not because he isn't helpful, his office is located in an unused class room so he can effectively help students after hour teaching hours. Not because of his sadistic sense of humor or really even his level of toughness; it all boils down to the fact that I want to be a doctor and Dr. Rockley is doing all he can to prevent my dream from coming to fruition.
Before you jump the gun and inform me that no professor purposefully tries to fail his students, let me tell you about our lecture before the third exam that I took last night. With a numb brain from 16 consecutive hours studying chemistry, I stumbled into my seat in the chemistry lecture hall. The chemical equilibriums in my body spazing from the overdose of energy supplements and under dose of sleep could not keep me from missing chemistry lecture in fear of falling into the deepest hole ever dug at a university. The lecture that awaited us was not expected. I expected to learn how to solve complex acid/base equilibrium problems under dynamic pressure systems. Maybe add in a little advanced chemical thermodynamics to spice it up a bit. Unfortunately, I didn't get to learn any chemistry that day (no sarcasm implied). What I got was one of my life's greatest epiphanies. Like usual, Dr. Rockley walked into lecture five minutes late and found his way to the podium where he started a very unusual lecture. Neither chalk nor 60 pound textbook was needed to convey his simple, yet meaningful plea to my comrades and I. (Yes, military vernacular is needed, we are at war with this man, remember?) More seriously, he began to explain the simple message that excellence is found in the margins of life. He told us the gap between an average doctor and an exceptional doctor is being aware of the small things. An average doctor might not pay attention to the hidden clue that would save a person's life, while an exceptional doctor living in the margins would pick up on the subtle clues. An average doctor might put in mediocre effort and sometimes find a great result, while an exceptional doctor always puts in great effort and sometimes receives mediocre results. People are typically defined by the end results of their lives, but their lives are made up of these marginal decisions they make every single day. He went on to tell us he goes through his exams and looks deeply into each problem and tries to find where we could possibly make a mistake. In chemistry, a simple charge being different can ultimately change the entire outcome of a problem by three orders of magnitude. He purposefully makes his tests tricky because, "The only people to pass [his] class will be the exceptional people who pay attention to the little details". He refuses to pass a student who he personally would not feel confident in allowing them to be his own doctor in a life threatening situation. I know my parents and friends see him as being unrealistically harsh, but really think about what he's saying. It might be the first time I've thought it all semester, but he's exactly right. I don't even want to be a doctor if I feel incapable of taking care of someone. I want to try my hardest now so that my patients can have confidence in my abilities. Great people are made in the marginal decisions in everyday life. We are called to pay attention to the little things. In the end, it defines what you will become. Dr. Rockley might give me a grade that will hurt my GPA, but he's the only professor in three years of being in Stillwater that will leave a permanent mark on my life. I want to be the best I possibly can be. And that requires living in the margins. Thank you Dr. Rockley. I'll leave you with this to capstone my message.
"Only those who have the patience to do simple things perfectly will acquire the skill to do difficult things easily." -Johann Schiller
P.S. I got an A on exam three. Miracles do and can happen while livin' in the margins.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A.... STATE!
University of Oklahoma's medical school= A+
Next stop: Tomorrow at 2:00pm
Next stop: Tomorrow at 2:00pm
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Bleeding Orange
I suppose that the nature of this blog when I created it was to take you on the medical school journey with me. Sharing my perspective of the life of a pre-health student and hopefully as a medical student as well. I tend to get away from this topic very often as you know, but today I would like to take you a little farther in my adventure. For the most part, my opinions about a particular medical school are formulated around what their website advertises, how they treat me in my emails, and of course by ear. Today I will take a step forward in gaining a better perspective of one school by visiting the University of Oklahoma Health Sciences for their medical school "Open House" event. I've received tons of grief from my friends here in Stillwater for considering going to that "one place next to Oklahoma City", so I really don't need to hear more from you. Hah. I've decided against wearing my Ok. State shirt in case I happen to meet an admittance committee member... The little things matter when applying to medical school, ya know! I'll be taking a tour of their campus, hearing presentations from some of the professors, as well as having a Q&A session with current medical students. I've been conspiring to come up with a couple questions to stump them, any suggestions will be accepted. This has been the most stressful semester of my college career so I'm not positive when I'll find the time to update on how my experience went, but I'm going to try to soon. It's time to go make my future. Off to the evil empire!
“When it comes to the future, there are three kinds of people: those who let it happen, those who make it happen, and those who wonder what happened.”
-John M. Richardson, Jr.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Long Time, No See
I cannot believe that I have not blogged in over a month. This is something that I truly love doing. Even if it isn't the best, most creative writing in the world; writing helps me organize my thoughts and emotions. It's an avenue to relieve stress for my hyperactive wired scheduled life. And really, I have so much to say to the world. It's almost one in the morning and I find myself fighting off weariness (maybe from two weeks of less than 6 hours of sleep a night) to log on to my blog to express myself. This will not be the wittiest or most interesting post I've ever written. Although, this post is something that I've needed for a long time. This post is what I've been dreading, but also looking forward to. Because with my public claim comes responsibility. A responsibility that I think I've put off too long.
I've had a rough month. Rough academically. Rough mentally. I've discovered the beast of medical education. The enormity of the stress and deadlines. After a discouraging presentation from a doctor on the University of Oklahoma's medical school admissions board, I was mentally left with a reoccurring question that has robbed me of my sanity the last several weeks, "Do I really know what I'm getting into"? Am I really smart enough for this? Growing up our parents and teachers tell us that we can become whatever we want to be. Thus our childhood dreams are constructed to be the first woman president of the United States. Or to be a fighter pilot. Or to play professional baseball. They never trained us for the harsh reality that at some point in walking out our dream we will have to face our biggest fears. They never prepared us for the crossroads in our lives when a grown man would stare you in the eyes and tell you, "You're probably not smart enough be a doctor". It's a tough thing to deal with. And the mental anguish has had repercussions in other areas in my life.
I've avoided trying my best in my classes. I've let my discouragement get the best of me. I've looked for any and every opportunity to avoid making my ultimate decision if I want to continue down this path. I've coward away from the ultimatum because essentially, I am scared. It's scary to step out not knowing if you're guaranteed safety. It's terrifying to make this big of a commitment in the face of doubt. Some days I wish that I could just wake up and be a doctor without the many years of hard work and commitment. Unfortunately, life never works that way.
Ironically, I learned the most this week from one of the things that I've used to distract me from making my decision. I've started watching (mildly obsessing over) the television show "[Scrubs]". I subscribed to Netflix so that I could have access to every episode of [Scrubs] in all the seasons sent to my house. Yes, it is a little loony. I could sit and watch 7-8 episodes a day dispite the need to be studying. I've used it as a distraction from school and I've known it all along. I know that it seems silly that I'm talking about having a favorite TV show, but a certain episode has helped me more than I could express. I am going to work hard. I am going to get serious. Even if I face rejection down the road for my educational inadequacies, I will know confidently that I tried my best. Always remember, "Nothing worth having comes easy".
**Warning: One use of foul language at the 16 second mark**
I've had a rough month. Rough academically. Rough mentally. I've discovered the beast of medical education. The enormity of the stress and deadlines. After a discouraging presentation from a doctor on the University of Oklahoma's medical school admissions board, I was mentally left with a reoccurring question that has robbed me of my sanity the last several weeks, "Do I really know what I'm getting into"? Am I really smart enough for this? Growing up our parents and teachers tell us that we can become whatever we want to be. Thus our childhood dreams are constructed to be the first woman president of the United States. Or to be a fighter pilot. Or to play professional baseball. They never trained us for the harsh reality that at some point in walking out our dream we will have to face our biggest fears. They never prepared us for the crossroads in our lives when a grown man would stare you in the eyes and tell you, "You're probably not smart enough be a doctor". It's a tough thing to deal with. And the mental anguish has had repercussions in other areas in my life.
I've avoided trying my best in my classes. I've let my discouragement get the best of me. I've looked for any and every opportunity to avoid making my ultimate decision if I want to continue down this path. I've coward away from the ultimatum because essentially, I am scared. It's scary to step out not knowing if you're guaranteed safety. It's terrifying to make this big of a commitment in the face of doubt. Some days I wish that I could just wake up and be a doctor without the many years of hard work and commitment. Unfortunately, life never works that way.
Ironically, I learned the most this week from one of the things that I've used to distract me from making my decision. I've started watching (mildly obsessing over) the television show "[Scrubs]". I subscribed to Netflix so that I could have access to every episode of [Scrubs] in all the seasons sent to my house. Yes, it is a little loony. I could sit and watch 7-8 episodes a day dispite the need to be studying. I've used it as a distraction from school and I've known it all along. I know that it seems silly that I'm talking about having a favorite TV show, but a certain episode has helped me more than I could express. I am going to work hard. I am going to get serious. Even if I face rejection down the road for my educational inadequacies, I will know confidently that I tried my best. Always remember, "Nothing worth having comes easy".
**Warning: One use of foul language at the 16 second mark**
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